First Off...I get asked this a lot...what's up with the paper airplane in my logo?
I am the oldest of 3 children. My parents (who stayed married WAY TOO LONG…they eventually divorced when I was in my 20’s) would have incredibly intense fights. There was nothing ever physical…maybe something would break from time to time…but as kids, we never felt their fights were ever going to harm or injure us.
The intensity of their fights would cause my siblings and me to hide out downstairs in the basement. It was a finished basement…my house growing up was a split level…so we could sit at the top of the basement stairs…behind the closed door. We could hear what was going on…but my parents could not see us.
I was around 8, maybe 9 years old when I first started the paper airplane defense.
When I could tell a fight was about to erupt…I’d grab my siblings, a stack of paper and pens, and head downstairs. My siblings would decorate a page…
Then I was in charge of writing the message asking them to stop fighting. I’d then turn that piece of paper into a paper airplane in the hopes it would carry our message up to our fighting parents.
My childhood home was a split level…so I could sneak out from behind the basement door…step into the middle of the downstairs den and have direct aerial access to the family room, where my parents would often fight. I would stand there…in the middle of the den…feeling determined, hopeful, nervous, and scared as I launched our paper airplane defense, hoping the messages/pleas for them to stop fighting would work.
We had various levels of success…usually the intensity of their fight would subside temporarily, or the yells would turn into harsh, angry whispers, …which made them sound like two giant, angry snakes hissing and arguing; all at the same time!
…but, the fighting never truly stopped. Those fights and the paper airplanes that accompanied them are sprinkled throughout my childhood. I’m grateful for my life experiences…every single one of them! They provide me with the drive, determination, and insights to help individuals like you...who want to do everything in your power to ensure that the end of your marriage does not mean the end of your children's childhood!.
The funny thing is I am terrified of flying! So the airplane is definitely NOT a shout out for my love of air travel!!
I hear that all the time! Hell, that's what I said about my divorce at the very beginning too!
Even though my ex and I had made the conscious decision to keep our divorce amicable for the sake of our children...
Neither of us was prepared for the constant barrage of negativity and horrible advice we received.
Everyone...family and friends, grocery store clerks to Uber & Lyft drivers all had opinions to share and advice to give but none of it was helpful or focused on our actual goal of an amicable divorce.
All we heard were worse case scenarios and divorce horror stories.
When you are surrounded by negativity...it has a huge effect on your mindset and outcome!
I was lucky in an unlucky way. I had seen the toll an incredibly nuclear divorce had had on the health of my mom...
The fear of losing my health, watching the lawyer bills pile up, and the promise I made to my children motivated me to push through and find a way to make a Nice Divorce a reality...and the funny part is my kids could not be more annoyed!
Yes! You read that correctly...
it drives my kids absolutely batty that their
Dad and I have a Nice Divorce!!
Here's why...They have so many friends whose parents went the "Mean Divorce" route.
They hear about friends who...
Have 2 birthday parties and receive twice as many Christmas presents.
Who've learned to play their parents against one another to get their way and to take full advantage of the fact that their parents are constantly trying to one-up the other!
They have friends who have discovered how easy it is to get away with telling half-truths because they know their parents won't call each other to confirm or verify what's being said or planned.
It's also those same friends who come into my home and tell me...I wish my parents had a divorce like yours!
If this is you...if you want to do everything in your power to give your children the gift of an amicable divorce. If you want the type of divorce that allows you to move forward with your life...while still providing the love, emotional support, and stability your child(ren) deserve...you are in the right place!!
I am so excited that you are here!!